The joke that there’s an app for everything is an old one. Well, now there’s an app for tracking your sexual performance. Spreadsheets measures the duration of your sexual encounter, your thrusts per minute (TPM) and your “decibel peak” – that is, how loud you got. It also keeps a record of your averages and offers you the option of earning “achievements” by completing sexy challenges: having sex five times on a Sunday earns you the Lazy Sunday achievement, for instance.
Rachel Kramer Bussel, one of our favorite writers and editors of erotica, tried the app out, although she questioned the validity of the ways Spreadsheets measures sexual success.
“There are so many assumptions that go into Spreadsheets’ idea of “good” sex… For those who want to capture these measurements (with the option of sharing them on Facebook or Twitter), great. But I’m concerned that, in a culture that too often implies that the more sex you’re having, the happier you are, we assume that everyone’s erotic pleasure boils down to the exact same data points.”
Especially since measures like TPM and decibel peak are only really applicable to thrusting-centric sex between very vocal partners, Bussel encourages her readers to create their own set of sexual metrics, to measure their specific brand of good sex.
What do you think of Spreadsheets? Does it sound helpful? Fun? Completely useless? Is there another sex app that you like, or that you wish existed? Let us know!
